saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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