for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
