I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
