Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
