You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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