I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
