I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
