we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
This toilet bowl is my home.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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