Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
