I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
