i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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