Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize