Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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