I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
