I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
