People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
