Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
