just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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