Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
