I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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