Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I stole a fireplace last night.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
