You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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