I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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