the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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