I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
