so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
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