I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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