sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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