3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
We're like a lot better than the average bears
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
