big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
