Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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