In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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