Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
