im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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