I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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