I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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