this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
