Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
