matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
