here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
