It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I can't turn off my feet"
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
