so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
