All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
