So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
