I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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