He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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