Just fell off a train. Bad.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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