Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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