how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
