You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
