Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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