I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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