OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
