As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize