I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
