I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
