Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
