if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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