drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
