Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
