So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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