I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
