I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
