quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
