She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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