I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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