During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She told me I should be a condom model.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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