you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
