So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
